Have Fun!!!!!!

I tell my wife often that one day, when the kids are out of the house, the house will be spotless, and we’ll long to have our little ones back again. With this in mind, we often put off chores for fun in the Fitch household. Don’t get me wrong, we do clean our house. In fact, my wife just finished cleaning it top to bottom (with my help, of course!), and our kids are required to do their fair share of work. But over a weekend or a weeknight, if we have limited time, we choose fun over chores every time. Why? Because a common thread that I see in successful marriages as well as families is the ability to enjoy one another frequently!

Some Christian parents focus so much on discipline and training that they forget to enjoy their kids while they have them. It is ok to be a likable parent! Think for a moment about your favorite teacher from elementary or high school. I doubt their ability to fill your head with knowledge was your favorite characteristic about that instructor. I’m willing to bet that they were enjoyable to be around.   We often learn the best and respond the most to the people we enjoy the most.

This does not mean that we refrain from discipline, or lower our parental expectations. Often having more fun doesn’t mean a change in family demeanor (although it might if you have a tense household). It is primarily a time and motivational issue. Can you, as a family, refrain from over extending yourselves in your community or church so that you can spend more time together? Can you forgo watching the NFL on beautiful fall afternoon to take a bike ride or go to the park? It is well worth sacrificing your own personal leisure preferences for the sake of “team building” in the family.  I’m not speaking of just making “quality time” either. I am speaking of literally making more time. Quantity matters in addition to the quality of that time.

The bi-product of all of this “fun” is that it actually helps with discipline. Strong relationships are more trusting, communicative, and withstand tension better than people who just exist under the same roof. The fun you have together strengthens your relationship so when you have the inevitable hard times, or are in a situation where discipline is necessary, your children will understand your motives better and will eventually focus on their misbehavior instead of misconstruing discipline to be an attack on their person.

Summer is approaching. Begin by planning a family getaway – just you, your spouse, and kids. Leave your home life behind for a while and escape and have some fun. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant, just something that eliminates the distractions of home improvements, chores, work, and social lives. Sequester yourselves together for a short time and have some fun. This spring, mark off a couple of evenings each week where you shut your cell phones off and play games, watch and discuss movies, go to the park, play soccer in the back yard – whatever it is your spouse and kids like to do, spend time doing it and watch the positive effects it will have on your relationships.

And by the way...when my kids have all grown up and moved on and our house is spotless, you'll find my wife and I in the Caribbean somewhere - having fun!